The morning of my wedding, I woke up in bed with my two year old son. I quietly slipped out of the soft, hotel sheets and pulled on my yoga pants and Johnny Cash tank top. I was never the kind of girl who dreamed of getting married, so to me, planning this wedding had started out overwhelming.
The moment I showed off my ring to the women in my family, the inquisition began. When? Where? The dress? The shoes? The color? It wasn’t until I was waist deep in white lace, looking at myself in a full length mirror at a store whose name was so sweet it could cause diabetes, that I realized this was not me. And if any day should be 100% about me, shouldn’t it be my wedding?
Once that realization sunk in, I became consciously in control of my big day. I decided that if the tradition of a wedding had never been a dream of mine, why should I be constrained by it?
I knew that eloping would break my mother’s heart, but I did not have it in me to plan an extravagant wedding.
So before you spend an insane amount of money on a wedding, consider if it is really all that important to you. Or if you would rather spend a fraction of the cost and still get do things like:
HAVE A FATHER-DAUGHTER DANCE
Even if neither of you can waltz. Why should you need to take lessons? This moment is about celebrating with your daddy. You should do that in a way that is true to your relationship with him.
CELEBRATE WITH YOUR GIRLS
Don’t feel pressured to have a ton of bridesmaids either. Pick the women who are closest to you. For me that was my two sisters and my best friend from highschool, who happened to be a man.
MAKE MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME
For me, this day was not just about me. It was about the family that we had created two years ago. I feel so blessed that I was able to share this day with the love of my love and the love of both of our lives (our son).
Now maybe a big princess wedding is right for you. There is nothing wrong with that, but do not think that you are going to miss out on a beautiful memory if you decide to switch the fluffy white dress for a more modern concept.